虹
虹 is a 20 minute mini-album about my experience being LGBTQIA+ ; from growing up in a conservative household, to finding my people, fighting jealousy, moving in with my partner, and looking into the future.
Each song is themed after a color of the rainbow [ROYGBIV, 赤橙黄緑青藍紫 in Japanese] and chronologically follows events in my life.
album art by cozygh0st
¹⁹赤₉₉
June 1999 ;; I hatched and nearly died
Face red from coughing, I was connected to oxygen for the first few months of my life.
橙橙橙橙橙橙橙橙橙橙橙橙橙橙橙橙
橙 (pronounced "Daidai") ;; meaning orange the color, the common phrase that homosexuals are "fruity", and the common feeling in the community that everyone wants them to die ("Daidai"). The composition makes frequent use of non-diatonic chords, glitchy sound design, and bouncy rhythms.
黄「keys」
For most of my life, I knew I was different, but I couldn't see why.
We skip up to college, where I begin to find my people. It opened up so many doors for me, and gave me opportunities to discover myself with supportive friends and a community I could count on.
Miss yall. ❤️
²⁰緑₁₉
2019 was a very transformative year for me ; my 20th birthday, wings deep in college, and I'd finally discovered my community.
During all this, while I was searching for someone, I'd find myself buried in jealousy quite frequently. I'd see couples happy, and after several relationships myself, it would get really tough.
Looking back, I was still so immature and naive. And after 2019, things would never be the same.
bA青bO
Right before the pandemic of 2020, I was messaging someone online who, after some discussions, agreed to try out a relationship.
After a misspelling of "babe", the name Babo kinda stuck, and it's what we call each other now.
By complete chance, blue is one of his favorite colors, and 青 ("ao") fits in "babo" quite nicely. UvU
藍loveyou
So far, he and I have been together after 4 years. It has been incredible having someone so supportive with me. I hope we can continue spending time together. ❤️
紫。「tripping into maturity」
25 years later, I'm still here, somehow.
...I think a lot about the passage of time. And whether I want it or not, I'm getting older, and I'm going to continue getting older. As I enter a new era of my life, I've been thinking back on the past several years, and how they've helped me understand who I am.
And I guess that's something to be proud of, maybe.